I used to describe dealing with my moms alcoholism as schlepping through a nasty swampy river, and that one day when she died we would find ourselves at the worst part of the nasty swampy river and we'd try desperately to get through it and it would be hard but eventually we'd reach the sunshine on the other side and the schlepp would become more of a stroll and things would get easier.
Well, I'm stuck in the swamp, no sign of sunshine. I've been sitting in it for months and I don't know how to get out. I can see the sun peeking through the trees but it's not shining on me yet.
Will I ever see the sun again? Or do I just have to learn to cope with the tiny bit I get now and then through the trees. I need to know.
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