It's a salmon colored box that I remember so clearly from my childhood and it was one of the first things I thought of when going through her things after she died that I wanted to find and had hoped she didn't get rid over the years (I wasn't too worried, she never got rid of anything :) There were so many little things in this box that most people would find insignificant at best. But there is so much of who she was in these things that I found it crippling to go through them. I found many, many spools of thread, safety pins, needles... the things you'd expect to find in a 25+ year old sewing kit. It's the things that didn't belong that really got me.
A hot pink uni-ball pen. She loved uni-ball pens, she kept them everywhere, including her sewing kit! She never liked boring colors, so of course I wasn't surprised to find a hot pink pen.
A ticket from the Ringling Bros. Circus from 1999. It makes me sad that it was something significant enough for her to save the stub (in her sewing kit?), but I can't remember the trip to the circus. I was 20, so maybe I didn't go, but I don't know why she saved this stub... and I never will.
Two pairs of the gloves you get in a hair coloring kit still attached and folded in with the instructions. This one was my favorite of all the random finds. She always saved these at the off chance she could use the gloves for something later. She always had to use two kits when coloring her hair, so only needed the one pair of gloves. I colored my hair for 14 years before I got pregnant and I did the same thing.
A container of SortKwik fingertip moistener. My mom worked in a mail shop most of my childhood and would frequently bring sorting jobs home, and take me to work with her. We had these things everywhere. Maybe she was so used to using them with paper she needed them for sewing? Again, I'll never know.
Lastly, and this one really, really got me. She had taped one of her horoscopes to the inside of the kit and this is what it said:
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22)
I'm going to have to insist that you turn in your underachiever credentials, Virgo. You're just no longer a good candidate for feeling sorry for yourself. Mars, the planet that rules goose bumps, is swooping through your astrological House of Unwrapped Self-Esteem, filling you with the bizarre yet true notion that you might actually be primed to earn more money and appreciation from doing what you love. Meanwhile, Jupiter, the planet that never fails to expand your kick-ass courage, has barged into your House of Shivery Possibilities. This is the time and this is the place, my increasingly bold friend, to dare what has always seemed impossible before.
I do know why she kept that and taped it up. Anyone that knew her well will know too, and I'll keep that private out of respect for her. It's not hard to figure out though.
These funny little things about my mom are going to be forgotten, among other things I'm sure, because she's gone and when she was here none of these little things would have been a blip on any radar but all this stuff matters to me so much more now. All the smallest things really mean something, because her story is over and all we can do is just think about what we remember of it, and try to hold onto them because it feels like you are holding onto her. I don't want to forget these things. I miss her so much and I need to remember the little things about her that make up the amazing and unique person that she was.
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